To build a sense of trust with myself, I had to learn to connect to the deeper parts of my TRUE Self, even the aspects of myself I did not always "like".
I used to call my practice "Radical Acceptance" because to love myself well in a world that had trained me not to seemed just that, a radical act which felt deeply foreign. Loving myself went against how I was socialized, which was to disconnect from, abandon, objectify, criticize and deprecate myself.
As a woman, I was used to gathering with other women and I had many friends, but what seemed to bond us most often was our collective suffering or our complaints. We would find the talking points that put us on equal ground (equally miserable!) or air our collective grievances about what wasn't working in our lives, or worse, put on a facade about what was. Basically a collective stitch and bitch, or a show, putting a smile on our faces when we felt anything but content or happy. I noticed that what we...
It has been an incredible couple of weeks of revelations since returning from our TRP Fall retreat, "Revealing the T.R.U.T.H ™ of Who I AM".
My own truths surfaced like a freight train derailing at high speed and I had no choice but to dive in. Poetically I was faced with a huge disappointment literally within 24 hours of kicking off our retreat. I had received a rejection letter from CTI, a company that I hold near and dear to my heart and consider a part of my personal evolution to living my most honest, co-active, enriched, conscious life. The rejection was timed perfectly (a disguised gift) as it dropped into my awareness on the Friday night that we had kicked off our retreat, and as I was co-leading this retreat I had no place to hide, to pretend...I mean we were leading a retreat about personal TRUTH for Goddess's sake!
I could pretend (a lie) or I could be real, be transparent, and share it with our group to teach, to model, to lead for the highest of good, as well...
Think of all the fairytales we grew up with where the central female character is always rescued from danger through a force larger and stronger than herself.
From a young age we read or watch programs or consume images in our likeness who are very limited in their character roles. Some will be married to a handsome prince, some rescued from towers, some warned about the dangers of eating apples or straying off wooded paths. Our character choices are most often limited to innocence-lost, princess, step-mother, fairy -godmother or witch.
While modern fairytales and stories have worked to change these narratives, there is still much work to be done.
If women are going rise into positions of leadership throughout the world then we must be diligent in understanding and decoding the messages that are still rampant across our culture that objectify, undermine and shame us into the trance of unworthiness.
Instead we must begin...
The first step in your journey to Self Love is knowing your rights.
As a Woman, Never be confused about what you deserve, or how you should be treated, ever again.
I didn't know I had the right to speak my truth. I didn't know that I had been socialized to expect less than I deserve.